I have no spine.

So, I need to confess something. I don't do well in horror movies.

I'm one of those girls that loses her head completely, and everyone around her wishes that she was in the movie so that her hysterical ass would become brutally murdered, just so she can stop freaking screaming.

Paranormal activity? One, two, three AND four? Yeah, saw them all. Screeched uncontrollably throughout all of them.

One time, during my junior year of high school, my best friend Kelli and I went on a double date. The two guys were like yeah, we are gonna see Quarantine, no doubt hoping that we would just cuddle up to them and say "oh my, I'm so scared, hold me!" That's not what happened. I was huddled in a tiny ball on my chair, CURSING like a sailor, with my head in my shirt and alternating through primary songs. Four years later, I am still having nightmares about that. I also had to sleep BY MY MOTHER that night and hold her hand. I was 17.

The Grudge is quite possibly the reason most asians freak me out.

The Ring is the contributing factor towards me not wanting to look down a well.

When A Stranger Calls has solidified my anxiety towards babysitting in any manner.

Insidious legitimately freaked me out, until you saw the boogeyman sewing while "Tiptoe Through The Tulips" was playing.

Saw III the EDITED version had me hiding behind the couch with my thumbs in my ears chanting "la la la la la la la la I CAN'T HEAR IT la la la la la!!!" like a three year old.

Just yesterday I watched The Crazies with my good friend Amy. We came in 45 minutes into it, while it was on TV, with 10 minute long commercial breaks every 5 minutes, and I still screamed like a banshee.

Kelli and I also had the bright idea that The Silence Of The Lambs would be a good movie to watch, because it's a "classic". I'm never speaking to any human being, or I'll get the hose again.

I forced myself to fall asleep in both The Strangers and Texas Chainsaw Massacre so I wouldn't have to watch it. It was the moment that the girl pulled a gun out of her snatch and shot herself with it that did it for me. Some things cannot be unseen.

I'm not even gonna try Amityville Horror.

Let's be for real. 1408 was just retarded. John Cusack? Try John Douchesack. heh heh.

Cabin in the Woods sucked 2 hours out of my life that I will never get back.

This all has lead me to the conclusion that I get frightened quite easily. I was browsing through my Netflix, and saw that the Great Mouse Detective was available to watch instantly. I vaguely remember things here and there (the cogs to a clock, a pipe, a dancing pink toy, etc.), but I mainly remember it scaring the crap out of me when I was like, 7. So, I decide to watch it.

Holy hell.

Let me tell you how this starts out. There is a cute little mouse toymaker and his painfully adorable mouse daughter, and he makes her a little dancing ballerina for her birthday. They're in his shop, and she gives him a huge hug saying thank you over and over, when all of a sudden the door starts to shake violently. The dad puts his daughter into a cupboard, right as a giant creepy-ass BAT FACE come bursting through the window, with a terrifying sneer on his face!

You hear a ruckus, and the daughter opens the cupboard door, and you see the shadows of this bat seriously manhandling this poor little mouse. A table flies against the cupboard door, shoving her back in, and then you hear pleas from the father followed by a raspy, maniacal laugh from creeper bat, then all is silent. She finally gets the cupboard door open, and the shop is empty and her father is gone.

That's how it starts.

Thanks a lot, Disney, for giving me panic inducing nightmares at the age of 21.

I Find Things Humorous.

Some days are suuuuper crappy. I myself seem to have an abnormal amount of those days. How do I deal? I look at my collection of hilarious photos. So, if you are having a day that has gone to shit, here is a way to lift yourself up. PS I own none of these, so don't go freaking out about copyright issues and sue my broke ass. (36 cents in my bank account, woot woot!)

Sometimes, I wonder about myself.

I was late to class the other day. Would you like to know why? K cool.

I recently came down with a cold (yaaayyy), and left work two hours early. This meant I could take a two hour nap! Oh, the excitement! I set an alarm for an hour before class.

I was late for class. But, not for the reason you would think. My alarm went off just fine. I got ready on time, was on schedule, even ate something. As I go to open the door, the doorknob won't turn.

I lied. It will turn, just enough to give me a nice tease, but not enough to open the actual door. I start to panic, making my hands sweat, and forcing my grip to ease on my doorknob.

I then run to Kelli's room, wake her up from her blissful and precious sleep, in order to OPEN A DOOR. She can't get it either. I then start laughing at the stupidity of being locked INSIDE your apartment.

She was unamused.

She then suggested climbing out the master bedroom window. Genius! We climb out (I have zero documented proof of this at this time because Kelli was much too grumpy with me.) and our neighbor was laughing uncontrollably at us.

I bail, saying I was already late for a class that I really needed to go to. I come home after school to find our door intact, but with this lovely sight.

 

Why, yes, that IS zebra duct tape, because we are classy ladies. I got the low-down from Kelli, and it turns out that our Herculean neighbor had to lift the door off of its hinges in order to allow access in and our of our apartment.

 

 

We informed our landlords. They are unamused.